Number 172 Winter 2017 $11.95 FINDING CENTERIssue 173 / Spring 2018 FIRST TIMES Submission Deadline: January 21, 2018 www.rfdmag.org/upload So like anyone else these days, we’d rather hear from you through your art, your poetry, your prose, rather than see some Facebook post, an Insta- gram pic. But we’re hop- ing you’ll open up and tell us about your first time… Not just sexually, but any transition from one level of experience to the next. We’re looking for ways to connect to our stories and experiences. So tell us about a first love, your first garden, a trip away from home, your first Pride or protest, your kinky side or when you fell for Broadway. Tell us about your first spiritual awaken- ing, talk to us when you found a new friend, tell us all about that house proj- ect or how you got into being an artist. As always please feel free to share this call with others who may be interested in submitting something. RFD exists to tell our queer stories, so dig deep and share! RFD 172 Winter 2017 1 Rising Fearless Duplicity Vol 44 No 2 #172 Winter 2017 As we journey into the center, we find we must often leave things behind, carry things forward and allow for change. In this issue we asked our readers to delve into their experiences with how we engage inclusivity, allowing for change and facing the challenges of being in today’s world of varying ideas all needing to matter equally yet knowing we’re also overcome with information, opinion and little in the way of actual dialogue and understanding. We also include several pieces of fiction and poetry as well as a fun play on gender. We’re also pleased to include several reviews and interviews about recent short stories by Ian Young and poetry by Gavin Dillard as well as an introduction to the work of Jose Munoz, a queer theorist, whose work is worth exploring. RFD is plodding forward with plans for a slow winter here in New England, exploring simple things like reorganizing our back issue storage, working on improvements to our website and get- ting ideas from you our readers about upcoming themes worth exploring. So please do be in touch with your ideas for upcoming themes. You can reach us at submissions@rfdmag.org. Enjoy the issue and thanks as ever for your interest in and sup- port of RFD. Braving the elements for faggotry here in the Upper Valley! —the RFD Collective Between the Lines2 RFD 172 Winter 2017 RFD is a reader-written journal for gay people which focuses on country living and encourages alternative life- styles. We foster community building and networking, explore the diverse expressions of our sexuality, care for the environment, Radical Faerie consciousness, and nature-centered spirituality, and share experiences of our lives. RFD is produced by volun- teers. We welcome your participation. The business and general production are coordinated by a collective. Features and entire issues are prepared by different groups in various places. RFD (ISSN# 0149-709X) is published quarterly for $25 a year by RFD Press, P.O. Box 302, Hadley MA 01035-0302. Postmaster: Send address changes to RFD, P.O. Box 302, Hadley MA 01035-0302. Non-profit tax exempt #62-1723644, a function of RFD Press with office of registration at 231 Ten Penny Rd., Woodbury, TN 37190. RFD Cover Price: $9.95. A regular subscription is the least expensive way to receive it four times a year. First class mailed issues will be forwarded. Others will not. Send address changes to submissions@rfdmag.org or to our Hadley, MA address. Copyright © RFD Press. The records required by Title 18 U.S.D. Section 2257 and as- sociated with respect to this magazine (and all graphic material associated therewith on which this label appears) are kept by the custodian of records at the following location: RFD Press, 85 N Main St, Ste 200, White River Junction, VT 05001. On the Covers Front: Cradle My Heavy Heart, Painting by Rene Capone Back : Man’s Magazine,December 1958, edit Production Managing Editor: Bambi Gauthier Art Director: Matt Bucy Artist Contributors Rene Capone .....................Cover, 5,17 Jan Ziegler ...........................6,13,40 Marc DeBauch ........................24, 32 William Kimber ..........................31 Matt Bucy ...............................35 Alan Light ...............................43 Submission Deadlines Spring–January 21, 2018 Summer–April 21, 2018 See inside covers for themes and specifics. For advertising, subscriptions, back issues and other information visit www.rfdmag.org RFD 172 Winter 2017 3 CONTENTS Announcements ................................................................4 An Idea for a New Narrative ...............Tom Seidner ..........................7 The Radical Drag of My Soul ...............David Townsend ......................8 Nitpicking as a Spiritual Practice ...........Graphite .............................10 Adaptation ..............................Sunflower ...........................11 examination .............................luke kurtis ...........................12 Marginalization ..........................J. James Keels ........................13 The Charity Shop .........................Stuart Collinson ......................18 Fifteen ..................................Samuel E. Cole .......................25 An Anxious Union ........................William Estep ........................26 An Interview with Ian Young ..............Franklin Abbott ......................30 Graybeard Abbey ........................Jim Wise. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 From Graybeard Abbey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gavin Geoffrey Dillard ................34 Cruising Utopia ..........................Emanuel Rubero ......................37 nahar ...................................David Cummer .......................41 What is, Where is, Sex? ...................James McColley Eilers .................42 Lusting for Eternity .......................Lucy May ............................45 Lunacy ..................................Don Perryman .......................52 How Do I Smell You? .....................Flaming Salamander ..................53 Two Poems ..............................Jason Roush ..........................54 Two Poems ..............................Qweaver .............................56 Even Before You Touch ....................Simon Perchik .......................57 Fantasy ..................................Xavier Jonson ........................584 RFD 172 Winter 2017 Gatherings Faerie Beacon Gathering, Hévíz, Hungary, Dec 25, 2017 – Jan 1, 2018 Breitenbush Winter Gathering, Detroit, OR, Feb 15-19, 2018 Asian Faerie Gathering, Koh Yao Yai, Thailand, Jan 25 – Feb, 2018 For More Information see our calendar online or visit our friends at www.radfae.org A Year In Faerie Space My name is Fury and I am a brand new faerie. I have only been to one gathering but the experience was life changing and I have decided to share my story via (more or less) weekly Vimeo videos—as I travel around the world attending as many Gather- ings and Sanctuaries as I can. There will almost certainly be missteps, how- ever I believe the discourse that will arise in such a circumstance will be just as important as any other part of the project. I hope the project can serve as a document of my personal growth as well as give a glimpse of where faerie communities are at in 2018. At the Kiwi gathering in Takaka there was a lot of talk about the lack of interconnectivity between faerie communities around the world. I personally believe it would be of interest to document, not only my personal journey, but the wider things happen- ing in our communities in countries all over the globe. I think opening our communities up to each other will be invaluable in the knowledge gained and make every community involved stronger. I am not interested in telling anyone else’s story and only if someone approaches me and asks to be part of a video will they be part of the project. I will always gain consent on any use of my camera (even if I’m just recording myself.) I believe we all have valuable contributions to make and it’s impossible to tell how one faerie’s story might touch another on the other side of the planet who may never get the chance to meet them in person. I am especially interested in sharing the stories and daily going ons of the smallest, newest or geographically secluded communities. The videos will be viewable through a private, unlisted Vimeo link that will also be password protected. I have confidence in the privacy of this method & plan to demonstrate that from the start by never being anything but completely honest in how I present myself to you—warts, mental illness, drug addiction, hustling, previous stretches of unemployment and homelessness included. (I don’t actually have warts!) This project will constantly evolve—and already has—from the invaluable input of passionate faer- ies worldwide, and that is what will make it a truly unique & important document. I will do my absolute best to incorporate every invitation and contribution into the initial year timeframe (although the project is actually a lot more loose & open ended). I believe the inclusion of the word “Year” in the title clues people into my vision for the project quickly but I would be happy to keep it alive as long as people are gaining from it. Also as wonderful and creatively liberating forgetting time constraints can be—I believe that some structure is important, especially with such an ambitious project. To have a timeframe as a goal (at least initially) will make the whole thing come together. I don’t think this is particularly contra to faerie spirit as this edition (and probably every previous edition) of RFD had a submission deadline—without it it wouldn’t have been completed & you wouldn’t be enjoying it now! I am sure I will find many spaces in which I feel content along the way and there will always be a temptation to stay where I feel comfortable and the project is supported—but that actually isn’t what I’m setting out to achieve. I will endeavour to get out, see and share as much as I can. I am also prepared for there to be points in the ANNOUNCEMENTS RFD 172 Winter 2017 5 “Zebra Boy Seduction” by Rene Capone project that I don’t feel supported by every faerie in every community—we are so diverse. There’s also the possibility I may not feel overly welcome ev- erywhere I go but I don’t plan to shy away or avoid these experiences but rather seek to understand them. There will be no online presence of this project— No Facebook / Instagram etc. It has always been— and will continue to be—not for profit and will be made for faeries, by faeries & fully faerie funded (mostly by me!). If you believe in my vision for the project—may- be you have been following it already & believe it is worthwhile and would like to ensure it’s continua- tion. I will be gratefully accepting financial contri- bution to help with the costs of travel. If any contributions are left after the project’s natural conclusion I will re-donate to faerie funds of communities I’ve visited around the world. Please don’t hesitate to contact me directly with any invitations, contributions, questions or to subscribe to the project (to view it!): ayearinfaeriespace@gmail.com. I am sitting in a New Zealand airport and they are calling me to board my plane to Australia (where I am moving to start the project) but before I go I would like to ask you to do one thing for me. Think about how magical it is when a faerie opens up and shares, be that at a gathering—sanctuary—heart circle—coffee meet up or just with you one on one. Think about the knowledge and strength that is passed on—from them to you—every time this happens. Now imagine this on a global scale where we can all reach out and touch each other at this same level of intimacy no matter how remote your global position or small your tribe—that is what this project is—I know we will make it fucking magical! —Fury xoxo6 RFD 172 Winter 2017 “Big J” by Jan Ziegler RFD 172 Winter 2017 7 W e live in a time when division and destruc- tion are taken for granted. Globalization has become a curse word. People on the left are more suspicious of others champion- ing a more equitable society than they are of the elitists. People on the right use language of victim- ization while arguing that if you give more power and influence to those who already have it, life will improve for everyone. Everyone berates dishon- esty while routinely resorting to it in government, business, and personal relationships. Corruption, bureaucracy, and unnecessary complication seem to complicate every aspect of our lives. Increased com- munication means that we are exposed to stories of war, environmental devastation, poverty, hunger, stupidity and cruelty at a speed that renders us inca- pable of solutions or even an empathetic reaction. If we are to mend the world, it will require all of our talents and varying perspectives. But those very perspectives keep us from agreeing on the most ba- sic remedies. So perhaps we need to concentrate on ways of establishing trust and demonstrating a will- ingness to compromise in order to enlist as many allies as possible. Our desire for solutions may have to take a second place to our need for consensus. Let me state outright that we have only the crudest of methods for attaining this at this time. Our technological expertise has far outstripped our social skills. The human tendency to identify with some people and not with others is both the source of much of our joy in life and the cause of our most horrendous actions. If the eventual goal is to be a species capable of viewing global problems and operating in largely autonomous units to address them for the good of all, the distance from where we are now to there seems infinite. Yet there are some aspects of human history, which should encour- age us. While we still operate with a largely tribal outlook, the one constant has been that our tribes have grown larger. As the size of our communities, villages, cities and nations has grown, so has our recognition that people who were once demeaned or excluded should be included. While this process tends to be inconsistent and uneven, I believe it is one that we should work consciously to encourage. I also believe we need to anticipate the discomfort, delays and misunderstandings that will arise. We have goals in life that seem completely incompatible. We value an ideal of equality. At the same time we value demonstrations of excellence and competence. We don’t want people judged on the basis of a group they are associated with. At the same time we don’t want the heritage and culture of these groups to be obliterated. We debate our need for freedom and our need for responsibility. We tend to act as if our side is right and the other side is wrong and view it as a victory if we make our point forcefully enough to drown the other side out. Rather than being stymied by these inconsistencies, we can look to the ways our bodies work and natural systems operate. A useful model could be a process of dynamic equilibrium that allows us to achieve a balance that will change over time in response to circumstances and needs. This balance is not one of the false equivalency we often hear in our debates. It is not as if our bod- ies need to have the same amount of oxygen and carbon dioxide. We would never move if muscle pairs contracted and extended to exactly the same extent. It is more a notion that health is achieved by an ever-changing proportion of opposing forces. Differences in power and the need to remedy them always need to be recognized in any dialogue. But we have to create safe spaces for people of differ- ent backgrounds to hear each other without the presumption that one side has 100% of the truth. Straight people need to be heard by gay people as well as be heard by them. People living in poverty and people with excess wealth need to be able to converse without either side demeaning the other. Young and old and those in between need to be able to exchange perspectives. Women, men and those who find those definitions unnecessarily confining need to be able to learn from each other. People of different skin colors and adherents of various philosophies and religions need to have safe spaces in which aspects of our common humanity can be discovered. This does not mean either an endorse- ment of the status quo or that all grievances need to be put aside. It simply means recognizing that none of us have all the answers and that everyone has something to offer. Operating in such an unfamil- iar way will require an almost superhuman level of persistence and patience. There will be a turmoil of An Idea for a New Narrative by Tom SeidnerNext >