Number 176 Winter 2018 • $11.95 IMAGES OF OURSELVESIssue 177 / Spring 2019 I’M MIGRATION Submission Deadline: January 21, 2019 www.rfdmag.org/upload Migration is the heartbreak story of life itself. The spring 2019 RFD edition invites reflections at the crossroads of queer and immigrant realities. Our intention, similar to a heart-circle, is to mutually hold open spaces exploring migratory patterns of loss, seeking and finding; to sensitively present biological, geographical, inti- mately personal and radically political; culturally and historically infused ritual, art, poetry and stories of fleeing harm in search of healing. In times of crisis people and communities adapt. What are the risks taken, the skills and strategies discovered to migrate from places and situations of oppression into regenerative spaces of connection through inclusion? During torrential change let’s tie our destinies together by telling life-and- death stories of riding out storms. Between wish and action, the decision to commit. Women, immigrants, people of color, trans, queer and otherly-abled people are at increased risk of backlash. As we seek relocation we remember to ask ourselves, our youth and elders, “Where are you and your people from? How did you do it? What is now needed and what do we have to offer one another?” This edition called, I’m Migration reaches out to our intersecting networks to consider personal and collective stories of migra- tion. We must also ask in the face of de- sired and/or enforced change, “What are the risks of doing something—and what are the risks of not doing something? What vital parts of our experiences and identi- ties are sacrificed in an attempt to survive, assimilate and/or make radical change to thrive? Mycelium-like, how are some pop- up communities doing the necessary work of sanctuary making? What safer contain- ers are needed for magical inspirations and revolutionary actions to foment? And finally, what does the near future require of us today to navigate these, our own best and worst of times? Please share some of your heart-smart ideas and examples of what is possible. RFD 176 Winter 2018 1 Refracting Fulsome Displays Vol 45 No 2 #176 Winter 2018 This is issue is about how we envision ourselves, how we’ve seen our experi- ences and showing a diverse picture of what our community looks like and what it can become. The stories people have submitted reflect a looking back at former selves, seeing how an experience can shape our selves in the present and looking at how we can spread the influence and power of individual pride in our queer identities. We hope you enjoy the issue as you look at faces familiar and new and we hope you seem aspects of yourself in the stories, poems and images which make up this issue. As many of you know we’re always working on a shoestring here at RFD and that includes people power. If you are in New England, where RFD is currently based, be in touch about the many projects we’ve been percolating but haven’t been able to finish as we focus on the primary task of RFD, getting this maga- zine into you our readers hands four times a year. If you are not “local,” another place where we always appreciate interest and support is coming up with interesting and engaging themes for our readers to consider for upcoming issues. Please send in your ideas. Another vital part of RFD is getting it out to more people, engaging more of the community. Con- sider in this holiday time renewing your subscription but also consider giving a subscription to friends. Also if it is within your means please consider making a donation no matter how large or small to RFD. It was a frosty cold weekend laying out RFD but the RFD crew braved it all for the burritos at the end of the slog through the multitude of images we had to consider. Our beloved art director, Matt, pleads with you to send in high resolution images! From an icy New England morning, —The RFD Collective Between the Lines2 RFD 176 Winter 2018 RFD is a reader-written journal for gay people which focuses on country living and encourages alternative life- styles. We foster community building and networking, explore the diverse expressions of our sexuality, care for the environment, Radical Faerie consciousness, and nature-centered spirituality, and share experiences of our lives. RFD is produced by volun- teers. We welcome your participation. The business and general production are coordinated by a collective. Features and entire issues are prepared by different groups in various places. RFD (ISSN# 0149-709X) is published quarterly for $25 a year by RFD Press, P.O. Box 302, Hadley MA 01035-0302. Postmaster: Send address changes to RFD, P.O. Box 302, Hadley MA 01035-0302. Non-profit tax exempt #62-1723644, a function of RFD Press with office of registration at 231 Ten Penny Rd., Woodbury, TN 37190. RFD Cover Price: $9.95. A regular subscription is the least expensive way to receive it four times a year. First class mailed issues will be forwarded. Others will not. Send address changes to submissions@rfdmag.org or to our Hadley, MA address. Copyright © RFD Press. The records required by Title 18 U.S.D. Section 2257 and as- sociated with respect to this magazine (and all graphic material associated therewith on which this label appears) are kept by the custodian of records at the following location: RFD Press, 85 N Main St, Ste 200, White River Junction, VT 05001. On the Covers Front : “Richard Creates Man Art 2016,” photo by Lee Bivins. Back : “Self Portrait 2,” by Zak Plum. Production Managing Editor: Bambi Gauthier Art Director: Matt Bucy Submission Deadlines Spring–January 21, 2019 Summer–April 21, 2019 See inside covers for themes and specifics. For advertising, subscriptions, back issues and other information visit www.rfdmag.org Drawing by Adam Christensen RFD 176 Winter 2018 3 CONTENTS Adam Christensen ...................................................................2 artboydancing ....................................................4, 11, 13, 16, 42, 45, 47 How I Became What I Am Now ..............Mata Hari ...............................6 To The Artist As A Young Man ...............Jim Jackson ..............................8 Communion ...............................Racheal Walser .........................17 Radical Faeries Global Over Time ............Terry Cavanaugh / Hammer ..............18 Oshee Eagleheart ...................................................................20 Leo Raciot .........................................................................21 Michael Oglesby ...................................................................22 Images of a Winter at Short Mountain Sanctuary With My (bio)LOGICAL Family ...........Teacosy ................................24 Joseph Minutello ...................................................................27 Covelo ............................................................................28 Frank Serafino and Phil Brown .......................................................29 BB Ha! ............................................................................30 Veris & Ahnika Meyer-Wilde ........................................................32 Gabriel Q ..........................................................................33 Richard Vyse .......................................................................34 Layard .....................................................................36, 38, 40 Revelation .................................Alan Sugar .............................37 Self Portrait 2018 ...........................e.c.patrick ..............................39 Spriggin Radfae ....................................................................41 Will You Take Me As I Am? ..................qweaver ................................43 Stephen Mead ......................................................................44 Fortification ...............................Scarlett Woods ..........................46 Junis ..............................................................................48 Who I Am and What Brings Meaning to My Life . . . Earl Nissen .........................49 Dmitry Bitjukov ....................................................................50 Aloud .....................................Gina Marie Bernard .....................51 Atticus Winterfae. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........................................52 Gordon Binder .....................................................................54 Blackbird ..........................................................................55 J. Nguyen ..........................................................................56 Todd Shaw. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........................................56 Pumpkin ..........................................................................57 hoMopoke .........................................................................58 Mushroom. ........................................................................61 Marvin R. Heimstra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........................................62 Tim Evans .........................................................................62 Pink Jimmie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........................................62 Dippy .............................................................................634 RFD 176 Winter 2018 Upcoming Gatherings These gathering listings were found on the following web- sites: www.faenet.org, www.radfae.net, www.gayspiritvisions. org, www.calcommen.com, www.edwardcarpentercommu- nity.org, www.eurofaeries.eu, www.nomenus.org—thanks to them for providing these listings for the larger community. New Year, Edward Carpenter Community, Wasdale, Cumbria, United Kingdom Dec 27–Jan 3, 2019 Belgica Faeries Winter Gatherette, Ardennes, Belgium Dec 30–Jan 2, 2019 Billys New Year Gathering, Camp Meeker CA Dec 27–Jan 1, 2019 Furnishing the Garden of Eden, Lake Atitlan Radical Faerie Sanctuary, Guatemala Jan 12-25 Winter Meditation, Gay Spirit Visions, Highlands, NC Jan 18–20 Forestry Camp, Wolf Creek OR Jan 27–Feb 9 Imbolc, Glastonbury, United Kingdom Jan 28–Feb 4 CalComMen Community Camp, Angelus Oaks, CA Feb 8–10 Asian Faerie Gathering, Koh Yao Yai, Thailand Feb 14-24 Breitenbush Winter Gathering, Breitenbush, OR Feb 14-18 Foxy Faeries F7 Gatherette, Ontario, Canada Feb 15-18 Billys Midwinter Retreat, Upper Lake, CA Feb 28–Mar 3 Many-Fae-Station gathering, Lake Atitlan Radical Faerie Sanctuary, Guatemala Mar 10-21 New Zealand Summer Radical Faerie Gathering, Faenua Sanctuary, Raglan, NZ March 21-25 Stonewall 50 Human Rights and Social Justice March and Rally SUNDAY, JUNE 30, NYC. JOIN OUR PLANNING CIRCLES. JOIN US AT THE MARCH. Connect on the Stonewall 50 Faeries Facebook page. Learn about the march at ReclaimPride.org. The Stonewall 50 Human Rights and Social Justice March and Rally, which will be held concurrent with the World Pride/Heritage of Pride (HOP) parade, is a response to the corporate celebration that the annual Heritage of Pride parade has become. The Stonewall 50 March is committed to a mas- sive act of resistance to the ongoing assaults against human rights and social justice at home and worldwide. Hatred is fueled and violence is sanctioned. The march is modeled on the original gay liberation marches and is open to all. It will celebrate our communities, rededicate ourselves to our libera- tion, spotlight attacks against LGBTQIATS+ people by right wing activists and governments worldwide and reaffirm our alliances with all progressive people. The Faeries will make it FABULOUS! Let’s spread Faerie magic into every pore of this exciting and historical event. The Stonewall 50 Radical Faeries will have monthly get- togethers in NYC on Saturdays or Sundays, 2-5 pm, between now and June 30 to prepare ourselves and to participate in all aspects of the planning and execution of the march. Each get-together will have a heart circle, an update on Reclaim Pride, a teach-in, visioning and working circles and a potluck. At Stonewall 25 the Radical Faeries, with Harry Hay and John Burnside among us, joined tens of thousands in a parallel march and performed a Spiral Dance in front of St. Patrick’s Cathedral before gathering in Central Park. Let’s make magic again! Above All Else, Audacity!—Harry Hay Guatemala Gathering Update and Upcoming Gatherings I am helping to organize a few small Faerie gatherings in Lake Atitlan, Guatemala. We had our first gathering there last year. It was only five or ten people, but the intention and energy was very sweet and powerful. We hope to expand the invitation a bit more this year. Last year each person was from a different country. This was not by design. It just worked out that way. It was great to have some diversity. It was so interesting to me to be the only person from The States. The only person that had ever met Harry Hay. And clearly the elder amongst them with many things to share about the his- tory and traditions of the Faeries. I’m hoping that a few more people from The States will join us this year to help share our traditions with the others. It’s out of the way, and very basic. But it’s also magical and unique being so close to the land and indigenous Mayan culture. We should also have some locals attend. They tend to express interest in attended, but then don’t show up, or don’t come for very long. But I can feel that we are making progress in expanding our connection and our relationships with the local people around us down there. This is not meant to be a retreat where we can all isolate from the larger community around us. We are trying to figure out how to gather together in harmony with the land, the people, and the culture around us. It’s also very rustic. Not much in the way of electricity, wifi, cell coverage, buildings, etc. But this leaves space for Faerie magic to enter into the experience. Gathering from January 12-25, 2019 . Called Furnish- ing the Garden of Eden. At this gathering, in addition to having regular heart circles, rituals, and some fun activities, we will be creating the basic infrastructure of the space for a larger gathering in March. Creating things like a garden, kitchen area, shower area, building a bodega, tapping into the waterfalls close by for our water supply, etc. We expect the attendance at this gather will be small. All genders and varia- tions of Faerie persuasion are welcome. We are capping it at fifteen people. This should create a very intimate circle. Gathering from March 10-21, 2019 . Called ManyFaeSta- tion Gathering. This gathering will be slightly larger than the one in January with a maximum capacity of twenty-five peo- ple. We should have some of the basic infrastructure in place to gather in a little more comfort. However, it is still pretty rustic. We are hoping to work on finding ways to manifest our vision of creating community in harmony with the land, the people, and the culture around us. All genders and variations of Faerie persuasion are welcome. Registration and information page: atitlanradfae.dudaone.com/#Gatherings “Into the Light,” photograph by artboydancing.6 RFD 176 Winter 2018 I want to tell you about my first expe- rience as a performer and how I became what I am today. For what I have become both “legendary”and “notorious” for across the Faerie World. One of my most formative and beauti- ful sensations at Faerie Space was during and after my first appear- ance in the ‘No Talent Show’ on the penulti- mate summer gather- ing in Terschelling, Holland 2009. I in- tended to pay homage to the great French singer and icon Barbara, who became active in the fight against AIDS and was completely unknown outside of France. I had been introduced to her music only a month earlier by my Jewish-Arabic-French friend in Paris, and I was totally entranced by her. I was so afraid of going out on stage dancing something totally unexpected in front of so many people. How would they react? It was a total dif- ferent music than Faeries usually hear on stage: serious, calm and not kinky at all. How should I open my world of inhibitions, worries and insecuri- ties? “The black eagle” was supposed to fly on stage: “L’aigle noir.” However before I interpreted this song, I read some thoughts from another song that Barbara had written during her stay in Vienna. As I sat down I pulled my purple cloak over my face which was encircled by my silvery shining pearls, the music of the black bird and the voice of Barbara started and suddenly a new dimension opened up inside me—the infinite world of art. Looking into eyes that gazed at me soulfully, I moved in a way as if guided by a completely differ- ent spirit. All of a sudden, I entered the world of my intuition in the right brain, which is mostly com- pletely destroyed in our Western society, and which is always hidden from us humans and especially from men. I had suddenly discovered how beauti- ful this world of the liberal arts was. My ego was completely outside myself, yet at the same time one hundred percent deep within me. I slid fluently along a border area that I had never known before, a place that was only revealed to me on the stage floor. A door being opened for me into the soul world of our ancestors, and also at the same time into every single Faerie present there. The whole barn was so quiet that you could have heard an ant in a haystack cough. I floated as Mata Hari in complete abandonment to the voice of Barbara and I hoped that this ecstatic moment may never end in my lifetime. So many wonderful things became possible, and because of this new understanding of people, new wonderful moments and things were possible for me. I fell so in love with those souls that were present, who all held their breath for four minutes. Yes, I had expe- rienced immortality. As others I discovered a black hole in space. I floated with my black eagle in this mysterious window of time in me and heard from afar how it all began and where I came from. I flew How I Became What I Am Now by Mata Hari Mata Hari in Terschelling 2009. RFD 176 Winter 2018 7 and I sailed, and suddenly I heard how the big bang must have felt because when I landed again on earth thunderous applause broke out. The island shook with the enthusiasm of these faeries, which carried their waves to the other shore of the sea—to a place called Leeuwarden. We could see this place on the mainland with our naked eye. At that time I did not know that this was the birthplace of the historical Mata Hari—one of the present Dutch faeries told me this fact only a little later. But what happened here at that moment changed my life forever. I felt so much affection and love from all those faces spilling over to me and also their applause proved to me that I had not done anything wrong. When I woke up earlier next morning earlier than anyone else seeing the first warm morning rays peering through the crack of the barn, and think- ing back to what had actually happened last night, I knew I had found my true identity. I was irrevocably assigned a place in the faerie queendom. I felt an in- finite peace in me and a joy to have brought happi- ness to so many people via the stage. Many told me that something had happened in my performance, many also cried internally. Everyone was fascinated by what they were allowed to witness. Years later, I tried to reproduce that moment with an Equinox festival once more for a movie recording. But such a magical moment cannot be conjured out of nothing—it must be given to you or not. However I was lucky. The magic happened again, and I was grateful to the cosmos for allowing me to get over the feeling that I was insignificant in the universe. During a rebirth, consciousness enters the womb of the mother as soon as the male seed and the fe- male egg join. Here in Faerie Space, a rebirth occurs when all the male and female elements in me merge into a harmonious entity and form an indissoluble bond with the surrounding faeries. I was taken as a male seed through the stage opening, like on a lighted vagina into the mother body of the Faerie world. It was immediately clear to me that this was also my hour of rebirth. It started a radiant new life! I had found an iden- tity in me that forever made me very respectful of the creation, and of the Faerie Spirits that gave me this unique opportunity. I no longer had to hide or displace my personality. I have stopped my resis- tance to it. From now on, I start every Heart Circle with the same words: “I am Mata Hari”. Above: Mata Hari in Terschelling 2011 as Clepartra in his “Homage Performance to Elizabeth Taylor.” Right: Mata Hari in Folleterre Sanctuary 2012.Next >