a reader created gay quarterly celebrating queer diversity Number 181 Spring 2020 • $11.95 LOVE LETTERSIssue 182 / Summer 2020 LEGENDARY CHILDREN Submission Deadline: April 21, 2020 www.rfdmag.org/upload Holler if you identify as QTIPOC. What’s that? You say you’ve never heard the term. No prob. QTIPOC is shorthand for qweer/ trans/intersex people of color. And we want to hear from you. For too long, qweer culture has pushed the lives and stories of people of color to the sidelines. These days we may be more familiar with the work and voices of famous folk—think of Marsha P. Johnson and George Takei, Bayard Rustin and Sylvia Rivera, Chrystos and Audre Lorde—but what does it take to live now as an everyday QTIPOC? How does the world embrace you? How does it restrict you? Our diverse viewpoints flavor our interactions, from the interpersonal to the intra-communal. When the QTIPOC realm intersects with the Faerie realm, what happens? How has this intersection changed you? How has this intersection changed Fae space? We’re looking for essays and free verse, artwork and autofiction, choreopoems* and pix: You choose the format you feel will best communicate your own QTIPOC experi- ence. Think of the QTIPOC generation who are just discovering themselves: What would you like to pass on to them? And the young QTIPOC out there: What info would you like your elders and teachers to keep in mind? What will it take to bring all of us— whether we identify as dyke, homo, Two-Spirit, polyam, pansexual, asexual or bi—to a place of Radical inclusion? Maybe you have a piece of answer. Maybe you’d be willing to share. So here’s the call, QTIPOC. Now’s the time for all the legendary children to bring that summer heat. Tell RFD what you think, show us how you live, reveal how you feel. We want to see you shine. *“Choreopoems” comes from the playwright Ntozake Shange, in reference to her play “For Colored Girls who have Considered Suicide.” Photo: Josie Faser RFD 181 Spring 2020 1 Recumbent Fanny Dexterity Vol 46 No 3 #181 Spring 2020 In this issue we welcome you to experience the joys and passions of others through a variety of forms of “Love Letters.” We ask you to be open to the variety of ideas, experiences and we hope you will appreciate the sharing and exploration of others in delving into passion, emotional con- nection and building relationships. One of the more exciting aspects of working on RFD for the collective here in New England is seeing the diversity of our readers interests and the diversity of the people making submissions to our pages. We hope you, our dear readers, will enjoy this bounty as we celebrate the spring- time, the gentle release into another season of growth. Obviously, for some of us the winter is still well with us and we here in New England braved a big winter storm to make this RFD happen, but hot mochas, sloshing down the sidewalks of a small Vermont town and being pleasantly surprised to see queer African American short plays being produced over the weekend of this layout made it all worth the effort. We highly recommend folks check out JAG Productions— www.jagproductionsvt.com—soon to produce Esai’s Table at the Cherry Lane Theater in New York, March 19-April 25. In this awkward, unkind time of false narratives about truth, we hope you will enjoy the truths told and sought after in this pages. Enjoy the love and happy spring! —The RFD Collective Between the Lines2 RFD 181 Spring 2020 RFD is a reader-written journal for gay people which focuses on country living and encourages alternative life- styles. We foster community building and networking, explore the diverse expressions of our sexuality, care for the environment, Radical Faerie consciousness, and nature-centered spirituality, and share experiences of our lives. RFD is produced by volun- teers. We welcome your participation. The business and general production are coordinated by a collective. Features and entire issues are prepared by different groups in various places. RFD (ISSN# 0149-709X) is published quarterly for $25 a year by RFD Press, P.O. Box 302, Hadley MA 01035-0302. Postmaster: Send address changes to RFD, P.O. Box 302, Hadley MA 01035-0302. Non-profit tax exempt #62-1723644, a function of RFD Press with office of registration at 231 Ten Penny Rd., Woodbury, TN 37190. RFD Cover Price: $11.95. A regular subscription is the least expensive way to receive it four times a year. First class mailed issues will be forwarded. Others will not. Send address changes to submissions@rfdmag.org or to our Hadley, MA address. Copyright © RFD Press. The records required by Title 18 U.S.D. Section 2257 and as- sociated with respect to this magazine (and all graphic material associated therewith on which this label appears) are kept by the custodian of records at the following location: RFD Press, 85 N Main St, Ste 200, White River Junction, VT 05001. On the Covers Front & Back: Photographs by Chang Martin Production Managing Editor: Bambi Gauthier Art Director: Matt Bucy Submission Deadlines Summer–April 21, 2020 Fall–July 21, 2020 See inside covers for themes and specifics. For advertising, subscriptions, back issues and other information visit www.rfdmag.org Visual Contributors in this Issue Images or pieces not directly associated with an article. Virgo Paraiso .................................2 Dmitry Bitjukov ....................6, 15, 21, 47 Dragon (Arthur Durkee) ...................12, 31 Andres Catter ...............................16 Mr. Voice Love (Vojislav Radovanović) .........19 Eric Lanuit ..................................24 Tino Rodriguez ..............................28 Chang Martin ....................Covers, 33, 49 Richard Vyse .............................36, 51 Jan Ziegler ..................................38 Chris Moody ................................41 Philip Hare (Sweet Marie) ....................43 Mark Golamco ..............................44 Rick Paxson .................................54 Gordon Binder ..............................59 “Madreselva” by Virgo Paraiso RFD 181 Spring 2020 3 CONTENTS Gathering Guide ...............................................................4 Love or Bust .............................Jay “Jaybird” Warren ...................7 Dear You ................................Dami and Nikita .......................9 Afterglow (Love Poem to A Filipino Man) ..........James Schwartz ......................13 Made for Each Other, or Love Italian Style ...Dolores DeLuce ......................14 Uniti Dalle Stelle (United By The Stars) .....Charles Mazzarella ...................17 Three Pieces .............................Steven Finch .........................22 Edward, Be Loved ........................M. Wellbeloved ......................25 Spiral ...................................Silver ................................30 August Morning ..........................J. Nguyen ............................34 Body, Speech, Mind .......................Blackbird ............................35 Bobby Bish ..............................Quinoa / Chris Kirk ..................37 What This Poem Wants ...................Dustin Brookshire ....................39 Dread in November .......................Spriggan Radfae ......................40 True and Valiant .........................Al Cole ..............................42 Feathers .................................Raymond Luczak .....................45 Texas Blue ...............................Raymond Luczak .....................45 Thank you, Sir, may I have another? ........D. Scott Humphries ...................46 Cakes In General Are Fine .................David Cummer (Martha) ..............48 Love Doesn’t Conquer ....................Bobby Martinez ......................50 Words unwritten .........................Qweaver .............................50 Beltaine At Sms: The Power And Purpose ...Mountaine ...........................53 An Interview with Murray Edelman, Faerie Elder ...........................Hammer .............................55 Maqui March 24, 1958 – January 27, 2020 ...Cara Coven ..........................60Jan 4-9 Alto das Fadas, Portugal altodasfadas.org Jan 6-13 Tzununá, Solola, Guatemala bosquedelibelulas.dudaone.com Jan 17-19 Mountain Retreat & Learning Center, NC gayspiritvisions.org Jan 17-20 Groundswell, Yorkville, CA www.blackleatherwings.org Feb 6-16 Koh Chang, Ranong, Thailand AsianFaeries.com Feb 13-17 Breitenbush Hot Springs, Breitenbush OR www.cascadiafaeries.org Feb 15-24 The Western Cape, South Africa gg3.faenet.org Mar 6-17 Alto das Fadas, Portugal altodasfadas.org Mar 20-23 Blue Heron Farm, DeKalb Junction, NY sites.google.com/site/blueheronfaeriehome/home Mar 21-28 Alto das Fadas, Portugal faeriesexmagick.org Apr 5-13 Tzununá, Solola, Guatemala bosquedelibelulas.dudaone.com Apr 6-12 Valle de Sensaciones, Granada, Spain sensaciones.de/en Apr 7-13 Raglan, New Zealand www.radfae.org Apr 18-25 Raglan, New Zealand faeriesexmagick.org Apr 19-25 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org Apr 29-May 3 Saratoga Springs Retreat Center, CA thebillys.org Apr 29-May 4 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org May 8-10 Mountain Retreat & Learning Center, NC gayspiritvisions.org May 15-18 Evans Lake, Squamish, BC Canada bcradfae.ca May 15-18 The Land aka Amber Fox, ON Canada akaamberfox.ca May 15-25 Paddington Farm, Glastonbury, UK albionfaeries.org.uk/gatherings/glastonbury May 15-25 Zuni Mountain, Ramah, NM www.zms.org May 16-23 Alto Das Fadas, Portugal altodasfadas.org May 22-25 Kench Hill, Tenterden, United Kingdom www.edwardcarpentercommunity.org.uk May 22-25 Pathfinders Ranch, Mountain Center, CA thecmg.org May 22-25 Faerie Camp Destiny, Grafton, VT www.faeriecampdestiny.org May 24-30 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org Jun 1-9 Gavados, Greece www.facebook.com/groups/1409750252484141/ Jun 6-13 Folleterre, Ternuay, France faeriesexmagick.org Jun 11-18 Alto Das Fadas, Portugal altodasfadas.org Jun 13-20 Laurieston Hall, Castle Douglas, UK www.edwardcarpentercommunity.org.uk Jun 17-22 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org Jun 18-21 Faerie Camp Destiny, Grafton, VT www.faeriecampdestiny.org Jun 20-24 Faerieland, Nimbin, Australila www.ozfaeries.com Jun 25-Jul 2 Dos Rios, CA faeriesexmagick.org Jun 29-Jul 5 Saratoga Springs Retreat Center, CA thebillys.org Jun 29-Jul 6 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org Jul 2-5 Faerie Camp Destiny, Grafton, VT www.faeriecampdestiny.org Jul 4-11 Wolf Creek Sanctuary, Wolf Creek OR faeriesexmagick.org Jul 11-18 Ferry Beach Retreat & Conference Center, ME www.ferrybeach.org/GAYLA Jul 11-19 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org GATHERING GUIDEJul 12 Ferry Beach Retreat & Conference Center, ME www.ferrybeach.org/GAYLA Jul 12-19 Wolf Creek Sanctuary, Wolf Creek OR nomenus.org Jul 12-19 Northern California www.blackleatherwings.org Jul 15-19 Faerie Camp Destiny, Grafton, VT www.faeriecampdestiny.org Jul 17-25 Alto Das Fadas, Portugal altodasfadas.org Jul 20-27 American Ridge, Naches, WA americanridgegathering.org Jul 21-30 McLouth, KS midwestmensfestival.com Jul 24-26 Tortuga del Sol, Palm Springs, CA www.calcommen.com Jul 25-Aug 2 Faerie Camp Destiny, Grafton, VT www.faeriecampdestiny.org Jul 26-Aug 2 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org Jul 29-Aug 3 The Land aka Amber Fox, ON Canada akaamberfox.ca Aug 4-13 Featherstone Castle, Northumberland UK albionfaeries.org.uk/gatherings/featherstone Aug 13-25 Zuni Mountain, Ramah, NM www.zms.org Aug 15-25 Mühlbach am Hochkönig, Austria radicalfaeries.at/gatherings/gathering-2020/ Aug 17-24 Alto Das Fadas, Portugal altodasfadas.org Aug 22-29 Malvern Worcestershire, UK faeriesexmagick.org Aug 25-Sep 1 Langdale Youth Hostel, UK www.edwardcarpentercommunity.org.uk Aug 29-Sep 5 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org Aug 31-Sep 7 Blue Heron Farm, DeKalb Junction, NY sites.google.com/site/blueheronfaeriehome/home Sep 3-7 Saratoga Springs Retreat Center, CA thebillys.org Sep 4-7 Enchanted Hills Camp, Napa CA thecmg.org Sep 17-20 Lotus Ranch, Wimberley, TX austinradfae.org Sep 18-26 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org Sep 19-21 Faerieland, Nimbin, Australila www.ozfaeries.com Sep 23-28 Saratoga Springs Retreat Center, CA www.generategathering.org Sep 24-27 Mountain Retreat & Learning Center, NC gayspiritvisions.org Sep 25-28 Coldwell Activity Centre, UK www.edwardcarpentercommunity.org.uk Sep 26 Oct 3 Alto das Fadas, Portugal faeriesexmagick.org Sep 27-Oct 4 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org Oct 3-10 Faerieland, Nimbin, Australila faeriesexmagick.org Oct 5-9 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org Oct 9-12 Faerie Camp Destiny, Grafton, VT www.faeriecampdestiny.org Oct 9-12 The Land aka Amber Fox, ON Canada akaamberfox.ca Oct 13-22 Featherstone Castle, Northumberland UK albionfaeries.org.uk/gatherings/featherstone Oct 17-27 Folleterre, Ternuay, France www.folleterre.org Oct 23-25 Unstone Grange, Derbyshire, UK www.edwardcarpentercommunity.org.uk Oct 28-Nov 1 Saratoga Springs Retreat Center, Upper Lake, CA thebillys.org Dec 15-22 Exact locale TBD, Australia www.ozfaeries.com Dec 29-Jan 3 St. Dorothy’s Rest, Camp Meeker, CA thebillys.org Jan 15-17 Mountain Retreat & Learning Center, NC gayspiritvisions.org Feb 5-7, 2021 Camp Nawakwa, Angelus Oaks, CA www.calcommen.com6 RFD 181 Spring 2020 “Kissing Chavs” by Dmitry Bitjukov RFD 181 Spring 2020 7 I n the fall of 1983, Jim invited me to move from New York to live with him in Cambridge, MA. The two of us had enjoyed the process of getting to know each other over the course of long-distance dating for two and a half years and our connection had grown to the point where postulating a life together seemed like a reasonable proposition. Up until that point, we were both reticent to use the “L” word given the power and implications that we associated with such a bold expression of feelings. I found a cartoon in the Advocate which depicted two men facing one another with the cap- tion: “I have this feeling for you, but because I’ve been hurt so often in the past I am hesitant to say it… but it rhymes with ‘dove’.” From then on we playfully would say, “I dove you!” in moments of shared but cautious con- nectedness. Fast forward a year. I moved up to Cambridge and our connection man- aged to remain positive. Yet there was still an am- bivalence that dominated the relationship, particu- larly on my end: Was he the right person for me? Would I face hurt and abandonment if things didn’t work out? Some of my friends didn’t particularly like him. Were they seeing something I didn’t? One day, Jim, a painter who was also working at the time in ceramics, asked me to sit for him so that he could create a bust of my head. I was essentially agreeable to the idea but was aware of an uneasy feeling about it. I decided to push through the dis- comfort and to sit for the piece. I’m not sure whose idea it was but I ended up posing with a wool over- coat over my head which I had recently purchased at a secondhand store. If I had to guess I’d say it was my way of being present yet also hiding a part of myself - an expression of my ambivalence. I sat in his studio with the coat over my head for many hours as Jim worked his fingers through the clay blob in front of him. We mostly were silent as the process unfolded and the bust took form. It ultimately transformed into a pretty good likeness of me. I can’t fully explain it but we both became aware that in the process of my sitting for him something shifted in our relationship. On my end, the act of observing him study me so intently and, for him, something in the act of honing in on the details of my head and face, moved us from a tentative and cautious place to a bolder and more secure one. Saying “I love you” no longer felt scary. Once the bust was fired in the kiln, Jim painted it and brought it home. It has lived on a dresser in our bedroom ever since. As I reflect on it now, I think there was a growing trust that had built up in that first year of living together that consoli- dated during the creation of that artwork. It sits on that dresser as a testament to our love and connection, and a reminder of a pivotal moment: The crossing of a threshold—from “dove” to “love”—in our lives together. Love or Bust by Jay “Jaybird” Warren Photo courtesy authorNext >