Number 187 Fall 2021 • $11.95Issue 188 / Winter 2021 PASSING THE TORCH Submission Deadline: October 21, 2021 www.rfdmag.org/upload Passing the Torch—in a time of high fire danger ‘Succession,’ ‘stepping up,’ ‘stepping out,’ ‘mentee’, ‘mentor’, ‘elder, ’leadership’, ‘belonging’, ‘ownership’: these have been loaded words for queers, gays, left- ies, those with lives with style, and Radical Faeries in particular. Many of us have ‘carried the torch’ over the years: organizing gatherings, building sanctuaries, put- ting out RFD, and just flaming our way through life. But queers/lefties/radical faeries have often had an uneasy relationship with torch bearers. And passing the between generations can be challenging in the best of times…and here we are in a time of great change. Communication between generations often presents its own challenges (and, hence, fecundity), but seems particularly loaded these days of deep and acceler- ated changes: Me Too, BLM, the pandemic and global warming. Let’s bring our fairy-ness to bear here: as we consider how to have these conversations, to fertilize the upcoming generations with whatever tidbits decades of experience in creating and maintaining community have given us. How to listen with the current lenses while realizing that others applied before? With this challenge comes great opportunity, and responsibility. The dangers are both external, yes, we might be il- legal again or, literally, burn up; and internal—will we drown ourselves and each other in Maoist re-education camp style critique? Let us not lose the lessons of the past, nor the insights of the present. It’s 2021 (Gregorian) where would we take the torches? What bonfires would we light together? In these times of calamity and despair we must listen better, vision stronger and come share sprightly ensign and wizened wisdom. We have incredible richness: of experience, energy, resources, communities, increasingly diverse and incred- ibly gifted youth, fresh insights of 2021, and the old (some might say ‘tired’) perspectives of those who have been creating queer (and other flavors of the struggles for liberation) culture and politics for decades? Many of us have the tools, passions and magic to work the visions, walk the roads and co-create, sprinkling our faerie dust along the way and providing the inspiration and hope that are so needed these days. Perhaps, just perhaps, our time has come. If we can come together (I know, we can’t even agree on brunch, but one can always hope). Let our diversity—in resources, ages, lessons and perspectives—be our strength. Let us weave our com- mon threads: what appear large differences amongst us to those who would have our heads on pikes are invis- ible. Let torch bearers young and old come together! For love, justice, fun and survival. Illustration by Phoenix Dragon RFD 187 Fall 2021 1 Relax, Fall Declares Vol 48 No 1 #187 Fall 2021 Between the Lines We have the heavy news that one of our prominent editors, Ron Lambe, passed away. He helped RFD thrive during the time RFD was under his stewardship at Running Water and he helped spread the reach of the magazine to a larger audience. His role in helping shape GLBTQ history in the Southeast is worthy of the pages we dedicate to it. When RFD moved to New England in 2009, Ron was in touch to wish us luck. Our thoughts go out to his immediate core friends and appreciate many of them reaching out to share memories with us. We hope our readers are doing well. We’ve tried to provide some information about the gathering community and events and advice on researching attending events and keeping in touch. Hopefully by the Spring 2022 issue we’ll be able to resume our annual gathering guide, if you have suggestions please be in touch. This issue is about reconnecting after a period of being shut in, so we asked people to reflect either about themselves or about others. We hope you enjoy people’s reflections on being able to sit and draw in a crowd again, sharing the experiences of gathering for trans and queer people of color, reconnecting with the body, or sharing images and texts sharing reflections. We also have a number of short stories and poems to share – a num- ber of them which ask interesting questions about ourselves. In closing we also have a few book announcements – one for Michael Montlack and another for Steven Riel. We hope this draws you to search out their poetry. We hope you enjoy the issue! From a sunny New England after an evening of epic proofing, bur- ritos and our usual laughter... —The RFD Collective2 RFD 187 Fall 2021 RFD is a reader-written journal for gay people which focuses on country living and encourages alternative life- styles. We foster community building and networking, explore the diverse expressions of our sexuality, care for the environment, Radical Faerie consciousness, and nature-centered spirituality, and share experiences of our lives. RFD is produced by volun- teers. We welcome your participation. The business and general production are coordinated by a collective. Features and entire issues are prepared by different groups in various places. RFD (ISSN# 0149-709X) is published quarterly for $25 a year by RFD Press, P.O. Box 302, Hadley MA 01035-0302. Postmaster: Send address changes to RFD, P.O. Box 302, Hadley MA 01035-0302. Non-profit tax exempt #62-1723644, a function of RFD Press with office of registration at 231 Ten Penny Rd., Woodbury, TN 37190. RFD Cover Price: $11.95. A regular subscription is the least expensive way to receive it four times a year. First class mailed issues will be forwarded. Others will not. Send address changes to submissions@rfdmag.org or to our Hadley, MA address. Copyright © RFD Press. The records required by Title 18 U.S.D. Section 2257 and as- sociated with respect to this magazine (and all graphic material associated therewith on which this label appears) are kept by the custodian of records at the following location: RFD Press, 85 N Main St, Ste 200, White River Junction, VT 05001. On the Covers Front: Photograph by David Clifton-Strawn Back: Photograph by Rick Wezenaar Production Managing Editor: Bambi Gauthier Production Editor: Matt Bucy Submission Deadlines Winter—Oct 21, 2021 Spring—January 21, 2022 See inside covers for themes and specifics. For advertising, subscriptions, back issues and other information visit www.rfdmag.org. To read online visit www.issuu.com/rfmag . Visual Contributors inside this Issue Images or pieces not directly associated with an article. Gordon Binder ...............................2 Gregory T. Wilkins ........................16, 17 Jordan Turk .................................22 Mark E. Sanders .............................26 Drawing of JR’s bar in Washington, DC, by Gordon Binder. RFD 187 Fall 2021 3 CONTENTS Gatherings and Local Events .....................................................4 Coming Home Generate Gathering 2021 ....Naomi, Francis, Tony, Fagus, and Chas ...5 Telling a Story: First Time Back in More than a Year .....Gordon Binder ........................8 Breathing Through Sacred Cock ............BBHa! ...............................10 Review of Michael Montlack’s Daddy .......Steven Riel ...........................12 Little Bit—A Shelter and a Place ............Alan Sugar ...........................14 Nectar, Milk, and Sap .....................Andre Le Mont Wilson ................18 Empire Burlesque ........................Scott Hightower ......................19 The Value Over Liam Nickelhoff ...........Justin F. Robinette ....................20 Quantum Entanglement at a Distance .......Wes Hartley .........................24 Photographs & Text .......................Daniel W. K. Lee .....................28 Steven Riel’s Edgemere ....................RFD. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Obituary for Ron Lambe ..................Peter Kendrick & Gary Kaupman .......34 A Celebration of Ron Lambe ...............Peter Kendrick .......................36 Running Water Chronicles: A Personal Recollection ................Ron Lambe ..........................38 For Ron of Running Water .................Franklin Abbott ......................42 A Power in Rejection? ....................Pumpkin ............................44 Sweet Fruit/Sweet Body ...................Rob McCabe .........................46 Sweet Potato .............................Charles Springer .....................47 Straight Shooting .........................Charles Springer .....................47 Photographs .............................Naked Angel .........................48 Lilith My Domina ........................Petre Frumos ........................49A s many of us know from the shifting experience with the coronavirus pandemic gatherings and events have often had to cancel or shift to in- novative formats like shifting to online meetings, hosting smaller events and requiring proof of vaccination to participate. We have avoided listing events as things have been so fluid that instead we rather urge people to be in touch with gathering communities and organizers. So we’ve listed most of the major communities we have listed in RFD’s pages as a resource to connecting. radfae.org – lists a majority of Radical Faerie and adjacent communities with links to regional sanctuaries and circles. The events listings here have been up-to-date but as always we’d urge folks to contact the community hosting the event beforehand. It also lists the several online circles and events which have been happening to connect people globally. faenet.org – An online gathering place for Radical Faeries from around the world to share ideas, list events, hold discussions and hold online events. They host a weekly “Know Talent” Show. The Billys – thebillys.org California Community of Men – www.calcommen.com California Men’s Gatherings – thecmg.org Easton Mountain – www.eastonmountain.org Edward Carpenter Community – www.edwardcarpentercommunity.org.uk Gay Spirit Visions – www.gayspiritvisions.org Midwest Men’s Festival – www.midwestmensfestival.com We hope everyone stays safe and seeks community in ways that work for them. We urge everyone to seek access to COVID vaccination and pray the vaccine is made more widely available in communities most affected by this pandemic. We hope by the Spring 2022 issue, we’ll be able to resume our usual annual gathering guide, so if you know of a gathering or event which our read- ers would benefit from knowing about, please be in touch. Gatherings and Local Events RFD 187 Fall 2021 5 “Don’t turn from the delight that is so close at hand! Don’t find some lame excuse to leave our gathering. You were a lonely grape and now you are sweet wine. There is no use in trying to become a grape again.” —Rumi Naomi Generate was started in 2012 by a group of NorCal Radical Faeries in collaboration with the Billys, a faerie-adjacent gay men’s organization. The initial intent was inclusive, though the organizers and majority of gatherers were cis gay men, mostly white. Over the years, on the margins of this com- munity, queer people of color, trans and non-binary folks and some queer women found their way into this space. Over time, the fertile tension within this diverse community started drying up and folks experienced marginalization, micro-aggressions and some loss of vitality of this beloved gathering space. In response to the painful voicing of this grief, someone threw a snarky comment, “well if people want a more diverse gathering, then a diverse group of people is going to have to organize a gathering!” Though this was said in exasperation, I took it as in- spiration. I asked a group of friends, queer people of color and trans folks to organize the next gathering with me, with the intention of re-centering our be- loved gathering community. While we lovingly and respectfully invited to the gathering our cis white male brothers, many of whom we see as our revered elders, we made it clear that they will not be at the center of the gathering. This meant that all heart circles and rituals were held by the folks we were centering: queer persons of color (QPOC), women, femmes, trans, non-binary queers. This created a subtle but radical change in how the gathering space felt to all of us. We had our first, tiny, gathering under these auspices, during the pandemic under very careful Covid protocols. And then a bigger one, the Coming Home gathering, in May 2021. It is hard to describe the subtle power of this radical shift of energy. It feels to me like all the beauty, sacredness and raw vulnerability of faerie culture got funneled and concentrated in a very special way that honors and amplifies the queer voices that have been marginal- ized, made invisible and silent in the past. It felt like we were working faerie magic in the best faerie ways, without lecturing or proselytizing but through love, devotion, ritual and engaged, present listening to each other. I was deeply touched by the wide range of folks who told us, the organizers, how safe they felt in the space, from queers who were in faerie gather- ing space for the very first time to older white gay men who have been faeries for decades. So much joy, enthusiasm, radical vision and momentum Coming Home Generate Gathering 2021 by Naomi, Francis, Tony, Fagus, and Chas Left: The center of heart circle at the gathering. Right: The organizers of May 2021 Generate gathering, left to right: Tony, Tsukasa, Naomi, Francis.6 RFD 187 Fall 2021 were generated at this gathering that naturally and without much effort, a new group of organizers emerged to hold space for the next gathering in the spring of 2022. I hope that by then, the pandemic will recede such that folks from all over the coun- try (and beyond?) could come and join us. Can’t wait to meet the faeries of color, the trans and non- binary and female faeries who are on their way to our beloved refuge. Francis One month has passed since the Coming Home gathering, and there hasn’t been a day that I don’t feel the overflow of inspirations I received from there. In the past month, I have debriefed with several folks and these highlights remained on top of my mind. First highlight was definitely the heart circles in which I participated and cried every day. The con- tainer was safe, strong, empowering, and healing. I peeled off layers after layers of my heart, as I aspired to be authentic and vulnerable. A person said to me, “every time when you paused and spoke up again, I could feel that you reached deeper and deeper into your heart”. I explored many issues there but one of the most important growths was to embrace my womanhood. It’s been an incredibly difficult journey to deal with my internalized misogyny because many important women in my life have been de- valued, abused, and even “murdered”. It was not my first time wearing a pretty dress in the circle, but it was the first time I wholeheartedly connected with my feminine self, as I said proudly in the circle, “I feel pregnant”, and “I can feel my vagina.” Second highlight came from a spontaneous workshop I initiated and then co-created by all of us who were by the swimming pool. The idea was to praise what we considered beautiful of each other’s naked body, and people participated voluntarily. I was certainly nervous when I first stood under the spotlight of everyone’s gaze. However, the praises I received were beyond affirming and nourishing. I was seen in a way that was challenging my own limited notion of beauty, femininity and masculin- ity. Thanks to other people’s loving compliments, I unlearned so much body shame that I internalized from the society and the queer community, against slim Asian man. My appreciation for myself was not only strengthened but also expanded to allow more nourishment. Gladly, I was not the only participant who felt this way. Lastly, I can never finish my reflections without shouting out to my lovely fellow organizers, Naomi, Tsukasa, and Tony. It’s been an honor and privilege to know them and learn from each of them. Their love, wisdom, gentleness, butchness, thoughtfulness and many other amazing qualities have inspired me to better understanding community and leadership. In fact, the gathering started in our first heart circle last November, and we had been holding space for each other every two weeks until the in-person gathering. It’s from all those heart circles we held gently for each other, a safe, strong, empowering, and healing container was created for this gathering, for those who are more marginalized and silenced than others in our community—queer persons of color, indigenous, femmes, trans, and gender non- binary folks. Tony When my lovely sister, Naomi, asked me to become an organizer, I had doubts. I’ve always been behind the scenes and never at the forefront of any- thing. Centering QPOC/trans and women was very intentional and as a result, we all put in our energy and hearts into manifesting this vision. One of the highlights for me was coming home to my “femmeness”. I stepped into a power of beauty and confidence that surprised even me. I felt safe and supported by fellow organizers whom I got to know more intimately in the months prior to the gathering. So many shared that they felt safe and nurtured especially during heart circles. I am grate- Francis, photograph by Chas. RFD 187 Fall 2021 7 ful and humbled that all the ancestors and wonder- ful spirits that have kept this sacred land walked, sang, and inspired us. Ever since the Coming of Home gathering, my journey continues to unfold in ways I had never imagined. To my fellow organizers and Chas, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support and trust you have given me. Fagus Being a de-centered cis white man at the Gener- ate Gathering 2021 was a delight. I experienced an expanded community beyond my previous cis(sy)- white-ish bubbles that felt deeply nourishing and humbling, especially given the deep generosity that the non cis(sy)-whites poured forth to those of us who have taken up too much space without our realizing. I made wonderful new friends across divides I have until recently rarely been aware of. And I felt the power of building a stronger, more intimate, relational intersectional community that can bring a louder, clearer, more united voice at this crucial time of crisis, danger and opportunity. THANK YOU to the fabulous, fierce, gentle non- cis-white-dudes / Majority Beings who held im- maculate space in which we could all expand and weave. The project of establishing this community at our beloved Saratoga Springs has begun it is far from complete. I invite all who are curious to enter these inclusive gates. Chas Saratoga Springs and I have been co-conspirators to Generate Gatherings since their inception in 2012. The enthusiasm and interest in the gatherings waned after some incredibly beautiful events in the first years including the first Generate gathering, Luscious Queer Music Festival and the Generate Global gathering, deliberately bringing together for the first time Faeries from all over the world. The intention of Generate gatherings is to be a force for change in our community and the world. Rather than a place just to come party and fuck, its chal- lenge is to think about who we are, queer people of all stripes, in the global community. Who we are, as individuals, within categories, within geographies, within a planet desperately calling out for our help. These four passionate and committed organiz- ers demonstrated a path to greater consciousness of ourselves and our community in loving and heartfelt ways. That these new Generate gatherings are con- centrating the resourcefulness of fierce and power- ful Faeries gives me so much hope for what we can accomplish together. Left: Tony, photograph by Francis. Right: Huaiyu and Tony, photography by Huaiyu. Next >